


Oh, the Irony

by ThatOneCrazedFangirl



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Derse/Prospit Royalty, Angst, Both Jane and Rose dont take Dirks bullshit, F/F, F/M, Innuendo Jokes, Jake and Dirk hate eachother, Jake dosent take his bullshit, Jake is good friends with sollux and eridan, John almost stabs Caliborn, John has Attitude, John is also done with Caliborn, M/M, Majicks, My First Fanfic, OH SHIT EXPLOSIONS, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Roxy is a Little Shit, Slow Burn, So yeah, Sollux is Bored, alot of those, because you know, dirk is kind of an ass, erisolsprite - Freeform, even with the 5seconds they meet, everyone is on edge, except jake, haha the irony, he wont admit some shit and neither will jake, its all his fault dirk and jake are at eachothers throats, john and dave almost kiss, majick items and shit, neither does dave, no one does really, not literally but still, oops what this, so is Rose, somebody shove caliborn down a garbage shute, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-08-08 01:00:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7736917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneCrazedFangirl/pseuds/ThatOneCrazedFangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John gets into an argument with Jake, and has to go to Skaia for a meeting. Change of plans, and John is going to Derse for the meeting. Jake, who has his own decisions, decides to go.  Soon after, Dirk and Jake can not come to an agreement, while both Dave and John are the opposite. All goes well, that is until Caliborn decides to do some planning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not the Meeting!

     Your name is JOHN EGBERT, and holy shit, are you bored. You are at an emergency meeting at the palace because of some power outage that happened across the country.  You swear, this ceremony is even more boring than the last one. Thank god it's almost over.

 

"…get to the bottom of this. Until then, I want you all to return to your homes after 9 p.m. 10 the latest. That is all, you are dismissed."

 

    You looked over to Jake and Jane and can't help but feel sorry for them. They're only 19, and yet here they are as the king and queen of Prospit. You are always kind of surprised on how they always keep their cool and how they make decisions so fast. 

 

    You then see both Jake and Jane, standing up, saying their goodbye's to the court members. You look to your left and see Jade slightly slumping in her chair, looking just as bored as you feel.

 

_"Hey Jade,"_ You whisper, _"Come on, let's go."_

 

She looks at you with a confused expression and you point to the door. She looks over, with her mouth shaped in an "o".

 

    She slightly leans in and whispers, _"Are you sure? What if we get caught?"_

 

    You roll your eyes at her.

 

  _"Since when do you care about getting caught?"_ She starts giggling.

 

     She looks like she's thinking about her answer, but you both know that she's doing this to waste time. You sighed and glare at her. As soon as you open your mouth, she interrupts you.

 

_"Ok, you win, let's go!"_

 

    You both get up and start heading to the grand door, trying to ignore the court members. It was perfect timing because both Jake and Jane were saying their goodbyes. Both of you were so close to the door, but of course, you heard both of your names being called out. Actually, it was more like you _couldn't_ have missed the voice.

 

_"God, damn it,"_ You whisper to yourself.

 

    You both stop and turn around to see a pissed off Jake. Jane is right behind him, giving both you and Jade a sympathetic look. This can't be good.

    You take a deep breath and answer,"What do you need, Jake? The ceremony is already finished, and we were just about to leave."

 

   Ok, you yourself, have to admit even that sounded _a little too_ snobby and filled with attitude. You know not only was Jake under pressure of being king, he was also too stressed to deal with your bullshit. Especially considering that you have been testing his patience all day.

 

   You deeply regret you said anything, curse yourself silently, and try to ignore the shocked stares from Jane and Jade.

 

"Oh, really?" _Fuck_ , he is _pissed_ , "Then I shouldn't be wasting your dear precious time. Off with both of you then."

 

   He then turns around and starts walking off, Jane following him. You open your mouth to apologize, but before you can say anything, Jake stops and starts talking again. By his tone, you don’t like where this is going.

 

"Actually, since you two are never spending time with Jane and I, nor are you doing much royal duties," Jake says, and you _swear_ , you can _hear_ the smirk, "I want you both come to the meeting in Skaia."

 

   You couldn't help yourself that your mouth was wide open. That is just stupid! Why did you have to go?! More importantly, _why_ would you want to go?!

 

   You tell exactly this, and the smirk turns into a grin, and you just want to punch him so hard. He knows he got under your skin and it irritates you how fast he did.

 

"Why?" He exclaims, turning around to face both of you, "Simply because, I don’t want to go! I'm _tired_ of going all the time and I think it’s just a big boor to be completely honest," Jake looks over to Jane and asks, "Don’t you think so too, Jane?"

 

   She looks over to you two, and back to Jake. Obviously, she is uncomfortable, but after a few more glances, she speaks.

 

"Well... I would like to stay for a change," She glances, looking at her feet, "...And, I think it would help both of you, with the experience and all."

 

   Are they fucking serious?! And you thought your sister could bail you out, but no, she just had to agree with the demon you consider your cousin.

 

"NO! I am _not_ going, Jake!" You hear Jade yelling.

 

"I don’t think you have much of a choice, young lass. Remember, my word is law. Plus, I haven't been happy with both of your attitudes. Someone needs to put both of you in your place."

 

  And with that, he turns around and starts walking, with Jane behind him.

 

"Do treat the Striders with respect!" He yells, waving, and with the most shit-eating grin ever.

 

   You have never more pissed off.

 

 

***

 

 

 "…..he was even smiling! Do you know how _badly_ I wanted to punch him?!" You asked.

 

   It was the day of the meeting in Skaia and you were explaining what happened a couple days ago to Sollux.

 

"Really? Ith that tho?" He said, not interested. Well, he _would_ be interested if he hadn't heard this story about 50 times already.

 

"Yeah! Sometimes, he just...ugh," You sigh, rather exhausted from all that talking.

 

   Just as you were about to speak again, you hear footsteps coming, getting louder and louder. The doors to the garden opened, with a lot of force, which both you and Sollux jumped.

 

   Standing there was the White Queen, and her daughter, Calliope, both looking very anxious.

 

"John," spoke the White Queen, "I am sorry to cut your time short but we must leave this instant."

 

"What, why? We don’t have until another couple of hours." You ask, as Sollux helps you up.

 

"Calliope, be a dear and do escort him to the ship. I will go find Jade," she looks to you and says, "I'll tell on the ship." And with that the Queen left.

 

  You turn to Calliope and ask why you have to leave early.

 

"Well," she starts, "The Strider family are not going to be at meeting-"

 

"What?! Why?!"

 

"-because they invited us to their home instead." She said, ignoring your complaint.

 

   Wait, they can do that? Well, at least you won't meet the pedestrians in Skaia, you hear that they are strange people.....things.

 

"Oh....well I guess we should be going then!" You say with a smile on your face as you turn to face Sollux.

 

"Oh hell no," He started, "There ith no 'we,' if you want to go, be my fucking guetht. But I am not going."

 

"Aww, Sollux, come onnn," You whined, suddenly remembering something, "But didn’t you say you have some friends that lived on Derse?"

 

  He paused, glaring at you. He then sighed and facepalmed.

 

"Why, out of everyone, are you my friend?" He asked no one in particular.

 

"Haha, yes!" You cheered triumphantly.

 

"Then, shall we head off?"

 

"Yeah, let's go!"

 

   You three head to back of your home, and wait for the Queen and Jade on the ship. What after felt like hours, you see four people rushing to  get on the ship. Wait, _four_ people?

 

   You look a little closer and see an agitated Jade, a slightly relieved Queen, and two people who looked quite rushed. And the funny thing is, those two people are Jake and Jane.

 

   Now, you see why Jade is so pissed. Hell, you would be yelling why they were, getting on the ship if it weren't for Calliope and Sollux holding you back.

 

   They all board the ship and Jade throws herself on Calli and say their greetings.  You swear, they are so cute together, you've been telling them to go out since you were 13.

 

   But anyways, that’s not the point. They both let go of each other, blushing (aww).  Jade remembers why she was pissed and turned to face you. You both had a silent conversation and  you learned a few things. 

 

  So apparently, because of the change of plans, both Jake and Jane wanted to come with you. Why? Simply because they also want to see the Strider's home. Great. Just. Fucking. Great. Wow, you have been hanging around Karkat a little bit too much.

 

    That's beside the point. The rest of them board the ship. As you and Jade finish talking, you see Jane coming, looking quite uncomfortable. She says her greetings to both Calliope and Sollux, and turns to face you two.

 

"Ok," she starts,"I know both of you are mad at me and Jake. And I understand if you two don’t want to talk to either of us-"

 

_"No shit, Sherlock,"_ you whisper under your breath.

 

"But," she says glaring at you,"I want to both tell you something before we arrive, is that ok?"

 

   You and Jade look at each other and both decide that you'll hear what she has to say. You look back at her and nod your head, letting her continue.

 

"Ok, so I don’t know if you know this, but Jake has a sort of rivalry with the king of Derse," she says rather uncomfortably, "And because of this, he thinks that we have a grudge against them as well."

 

"And? What does that anything to do with us?" Jade asks.

 

   Jane then takes a deep breath, looking very stressed. She then smiles a small smile and replies,

 

"Like I said, Jake expects _us_ to _also_ have a grudge against them as well. Even though, they are all very nice, maybe a bit too sarcastic," she says, chuckling softly.

 

"Anyway, just be cautious of Jake, okay?" She says looking at both of you, "Be on your best behaviors and all those other things, ok?"

 

   You can't help but smile. You and Jade both hug her, and you hear a quiet, "oh".

 

"Thanks, Jane," both you and Jade say together.

 

   You both let go of Jane and head to the White Queen. Jade said she wanted to catch up with Calli, and left. Good. You personally have questions that you need to ask the White Queen, some about the meeting, some about Skaia, and more importantly about the Striders.

 

   You head to where she is and greet her properly this time.  While, you are standing next to her, you notice she looks a bit.....antsy?

 

"John, I am sorry for being rude, but do you need anything?" She says.

 

You just stare at her, blinking slowly. Well, okay then.

 

"Um...I'll get to the point then. About the Striders, what can you tell me about them?" You ask.

 

"Hm...you don’t know anything about them?"

 

"No, not really."

 

"Well, ok then. First thing you should know is that this 4 of them, like your family,"She exclaims,"there are 2 boys and 2 girls. It goes to Dirk; who is the oldest and the king; he can be very secretive and is usually calm and collected, Roxy; the oldest girl and the queen; the girl might be a drunk but don’t let that fool you, she can hack into Derse', Prospit's, and Skaia's security main frame with her eyes closed, Rose; who is the 3rd sibling and the princess, resembles Dirk very much, except the fact that she is snide and sarcastic more than half the time, and last but definitely not least, Dave; who is the youngest of the 4 and the prince, is like the rest of his siblings and different at the same time," she finishes.

 

   She turns to look at you and says, "Although you and your family are different from the Striders, I have a feeling that you’ll get along fine.."

 

   And with that she turns around, and walks away, leaving you in awe.


	2. What a Surprise!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So heyyyy.... I'm so fucking late, im sorry! There isnt even a good excuse im just a HUGE ASS FUCK PROCRASTINATOR!@!!!! seriously its that bad. That and the fact im working on 3 other stories. I was just gonna abandon the work, but i think my writing has improved a little bit, and because of that i decided to pick the story up again. that and the fact that im used to writing alot now. i accidentally added some fucking angst, i didn't mean to, i wanted the 'hate' be kind of playful, but nope its hate on both sides thanks to fucking caliborn! YEAH!

Not to long after your conversation with the White Queen, you arrived on Derse. And, compared to Prospit, this place is dark; and  _cold_. Like shit, it's freezing.

 

   Anyways, you seven get off the ship and head into the Striders' home. Needless to say, it's  _huge,_ maybe bigger than your own home. Your surprised how your group didn’t get lost.

 

   While you were heading to the dining room, you noticed a few things. You noticed not only do the Striders' live here, they also have Alternian royalty that live here as well. Wow, you guys aren’t the only ones, huh?

 

   Another thing that you've noticed, is that now both the White Queen and Calliope are antsy. You guess this because Jake is looking around like he's ready to kill anyone that talks to him.

 

  About halfway through the hallway, Sollux tells you he’s leaving. When you ask if he found his friends, he doesn’t reply. He’s looking down one of the other halls, and that’s when you see another Alternian troll. He has a long scarf and cape, with zig-zag type horns and slicked back hair with purple down the middle, and thick rimmed glasses that covered his purple eyes.  You slyly look back at Sollux and pat his back.

 

   “Go get him, Sollux!”

 

   “…Yeah.”

 

    And there he went. They grow up so fast.

 

   After that the White Queen leads all of you to the dining room, and you are very surprised. The place is again, like you said before,  _huge._  Paintings of cats and crows(?) everywhere, and in the middle are two dining tables with about 10 chairs. Yup, this place is definitely huge.

 

    Jade nudges you, and points to the other side of the room, and at the end of the table you see who you assume is the Black Queen and someone who looks strangely like Calliope.

 

    You must have been staring because that said someone flips you off. Wow, rude.

 

"Excuse my brothers manners, he can be a bit.....difficult sometimes," Calliope states, looking quite uncomfortable.

 

   Oh, _brother._

 

"Oh, it's okay, I guess. It is my fault for staring."

 

"No, John, you don’t understand; my brother is...let's say underhanded. He loves to start problems, sadly."

 

   She pauses, wanting to say more before someone opens the door. Well, more like  _bursting_  through the door.

 

"Wassup people! Ro-Lal is in the house!"

 

"Sorry we are late, we ran into some....difficulties."

 

"Difficulties my ass. Bro was having another fucking bitch fit, and it wasn't even about anything worth mentioning. Like, Bro calm the fuck down, no one did and/or wants to drink your nasty ass soda anyways."

 

   The three new people keep on chatting to themselves, forgetting about everyone else in the room. Which is kind of weird, especially considering your group is wearing bright clothing in a dark area.

 

   You quickly sneak a glance over to Jake and even though he looks surprisingly calm, you can see the murderous glare in his eyes. Looks like Jane wasn’t kidding when she said he despises them.

 

   The blondes stop talking when the Black Queen stands up, and glares at them. She then heads towards your group. The White Queen steps to meet her and they both glare at each other before the Black Queen speaks.

 

"Why, dear sister, how have you been?" She says rather bitterly, with her smile tight.

 

"I'm fine, and you?" The White Queen stated, just as calm.

 

"Great. Just...great."

 

   Wow, the tension is so strong, you can use it to cut something. You start fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, Jade won't stop looking around, and Jane is looking at her feet.

 

   Calliope approaches her brother and starts talking to him, but you don’t notice how tense she really is.

 

                                                                             ***

   You decide to leave John and his group, and walk to your brother. You normally would like to stay away from him, but you have a feeling that he's planning something.

 

"Hello brother," You say rather calmly.

 

   He looks up to you and snorts.

 

"Why hello, dear lovely sister," He says in a high tone, presumably mocking you, "It is soo good to see you."

 

   You sigh, you can't believe him sometimes, "Caliborn, as you love it be rude, I want you to be nice our guests. Mother is in no mood to deal with you day, and, sadly, Jake brought his guns-"

 

"Ha, HA! He brought his guns, good for him. He can shove them up his ass, and shit them out for all I care. Plus, poor Dirk is complaining like you bitches about how he didn't get any of his poor drink- which is disgusting as fuck-"

 

"Caliborn,  _you_  drank it!?" You say, rather annoyed and slightly shocked.

 

  He snorts again,"Yeah? Are you going to tell him, like the sissy you are?" You open your mouth to answer but get cut off.

 

"And don’t get me started on those bitches you consider mothers. They just won't shut the fuck up, saying that  _I_ have to be here surrounded by you sluts, while Daddy dearest gets to stay home and become even more of a fat fucking pig."

 

"Caliborn!" You're disgusted, your voice quivering and your eyes watering.

 

   He notices your discomfort and laughs. It's loud and cruel, like he's making fun of you; knowing him, he probably is. You wish to say more but you don't want to start crying; he'll make fun of you even more.

 

"Aw! Are you going to cr-" But his sentence is cut off by Roxy, who you are grateful to see. She smacks his head causing him to yelp and bring everybody attention towards you group.

 

"I'll stuff your mouth with a bunch of dwarves and make you shit them out before you hurt poor Callie!" She exclaims.

 

   She reaches out to you, brings you into a hug, and starts patting you. You start feeling better, now quietly giggling because Roxy keeps saying the word "pat." 

 

"Holy shit, did you guys see that? His head bobbled like one of those lame ass bobble-heads."

 

The younger Strider claims, making Roxy start laughing, Rose to politely cover her mouth, and Caliborn to flush a bright red at being made fun of.

 

  He stands up, pointing at said Strider, probably to yell something rude and inconsiderate again. But Caliborn never gets to say what he had on his mind, because the grand door was slammed opened, and it made everybody silent.

 

 You look up, already dreading who's coming through the door. You most certainly don't have any grudge against him, but someone else in the room does. You feel the tension as said man walks in. Roxy lets go of you and, for once, looks nervous. So do the rest of them.

 

  But what makes you want to go hide isn't the two men, no, instead it's your very own brother, because it's his fault for the two men acting this way. Caliborn smiles darkly, "Why Dirk, where have you been? You almost missed our guests."

 

                                                                                    ***  

 

   Remember when you said you were expecting to meet the guy that Jake hates so much. Well, you take that back. Waaaaayyyyy back. You wish you weren't here, and you wish you didn't say those things to Jake a couple of days ago.

 

   You can't believe you're saying this but you hate your past self. Now you know what Karkat goes through, maybe you'll apologize for making fun of him(maybe). Anyways, you're getting off topic.

 

   After watching Calli and her douche of a brother, you can say that the Striders are an..... _interesting_  family. But as soon as the girl with the swirl in her hair(Roxy?? Rose? Who knows.) hugged Calli, Jade grabbed your arm and has been glaring at them,  _hard._

 

   But that's not what made you all stand on your toes. When the grand door opened once again, you  _swear,_ everybody in the damn room tensed up. _Everybody._ Like you don't even know the guy but still; if he can make  _Jake_ , the guy who is usually 99% smiles about _everything_ , pissed just by entering a room, then yeah, you’re a  _little_  scared.

 

  Calli's brother(you'll call him Doucheface) stands up and greets Dirk? You think that his name, since he looks kingly, or whatever. For some reason, what Doucheface says only makes the tension worse.

 

                                                                                     ***  

 

   You wish you can hold Calli again. She looks sooooo uncomfortable! You hate these meetings in all honesty, because Dirky can't calm down! Sometimes you want to go and kiCK HIS DICK, but you don't, cause you a nice sis.

 

"Sorry I'm late, I had some … business to take care of," Dirk says.

 

   The Black Queen looks at the yellow guys and shows them the table, "Make yourselves at home everybody."

 

    Ah yea.

 

   You take Calli's hand and go to sit at the corner, near Dirk's chair(which is the HUGE chair, on the end of the big table, dur). But she stops you, you look at her; confused and she smiles, quietly stating she wants to sit next to her _girlfriend?! WHAT?!_

 

_OmgCalliwhatgirlfriendhowcanyouleaveyourbestfriendinthedarkhowcouldyouspillspillthedeatsMamaLalondewantstoknoweverythingcomeon!!!_

   But all she does is shake her head, symbolizing that she will tell you the beautiful, juicy deats later. Damn stupid royal shitty business meetings, always getting the way of the beautiful, juicy deats. She then goes and sits on the other side of table, next to a girl with  _long_  dark brown hair, and lime-green eyes that want to kill you.

 

   Haha, oops. Maybe you should apologize so she really doesn't kill you.

 

   You move to sit down next to Dirk(who has already seated?!!?!?) before Caliborn, the assbucket fucker, basically  _shoves you out of your goddamn chair-heyassholepuckerthefuckupcuzthisfistjuSTLOVESTOPUNCHASSHOLES-_

"Oh, sorry. Didn't see you there,"  _IT_  spouts. That's right,  _it,_  because this asshole isn't near being human, much less a thing that has a soul. Whatever, you get up and sit next to him, which causes him to scowl. Asshole can suffer for all you care.

As everyone starts to sit, you notice another person. Someone who looks exactly like Jake, but only with blue eyes. But his hair is more wild, and he looks a little bit younger. But still. This. Oh, this is so  _not good_.  Well, actually he’s sitting on the end so it’s good. That is, until you see Davey sit across from him. You can’t help but grin as Dave smirks.

 

Wow, so, Dirk and Jake are sitting on the chairs at the end of the table (coughtensionwhattensioncough) while IT is sitting next to Dirky, Calli is also sitting next to Dirk. Her girlfriend is sitting across from you, and wowsers, you  _really_  should apologize. Rosey is sitting next to you, and across from is Janey (you  _really_  want to wave, but you can’t).  And you already said that Dave, Jake, and 2nd Jake are at the end of the table. Both Queens left a long time ago, so it’s just you guys.

 

  You cough and start to introduce yourself. And everyone you know. You extend your hand to shake Calli’s girlfriend (Jade) and give her an apologetic look. This causes everyone to introduce themselves and shake hands. Except Jake and Dirk.

 

  Well, shit.

***

 

  The table is super quiet, and it’s starting to freak you out a little bit. Jake and Dirk are just  _glaring_ at each other like they want to kill each other. Which they probably do.

 

“So, are you going to say something or just keep goggling at me like I’m a piece of meat, because, in all honesty, you’re doing a bang up job on creepy the living shit out of me. ” And yup, there is Jake to always make the situation better.

 

  Dirk raises a golden eyebrow, states just as coolly, “Oh, but when you do that, it’s just fucking fine? Who knew you were such a fucking hypocrite.”

 

  Jake’s eyebrows pinch together in frustration, eyes narrowing.  “Cheese and fucking… Look, Strider. Why don’t just get this blasted meeting under go, so I can take my fucking  _leave_. Unlike some people, I actually have a planet to rule.”

 

  The table is quiet before loud, crude, and downright fucking _evil_ laughter breaks the silence.  _Doucheface_. God, you just want to shove your fist through his mouth.

 

  Whatever Doucheface was laughing about must be really fun, because he has to wipe the tears coming out of eyes. After he calms down, he looks at Jake; smile devious and conniving.

 

 “ _I_ find it absolutely fucking  _hilarious_  how you are trying to act kingly,” he stands up now, eyes narrowing, grin growing every second, voice lowering, “especially considering your role.”

 

  Jake gets up, fury and anger written all over his face and body language. You get up and try to calm him down as best as you can. You don’t know what Doucheface meant, but judging how Jake reacted; he didn’t like it at all.

 

“John, let me go this instant!  _Come and fight me like a man, you-_ ”

 

 “Jake , you need to calm down, holy shit-”

 

"Jake! As much as you want to hurt him, you have to calm down! Remember what Grandpa said-"

 

  Jade comes near, saying things to calm down her brother, while Jane starts telling Doucheface to shut the hell up, (Caliborn; what a stupid fucking name, honestly), Calliope joining her.

 

“No,” Dirk says; smirking, grabbing everybody’s attention, stopping all of your babbling, “Caliborn is right. No one has to listen to you, English. If your stupid as shit citizens knew the facts, they wouldn’t even think of you as king. You're just as measly as a Maid; worse than a Maid, to be completely honest. Your just useless, just like rest of them, isn’t that right,  _Page_?”

 

  Caliborn starts laughing again, while Dirk chuckles. Dirk makes complete eye contact with Jake before his gaze shifts to you, “You know something, English? Why don’t you let your cousin lead your empire; he’ll do a better job than you, you know, since he is a Heir.”

 

  You hear a gasp, and you look at Jake to see… tears? Is Jake about to cry..?

 

“Look, Strider. Can we just not argue,  _please_? I actually thought you wanted to resolve this blasted problem. ”

 

  Dirk raises both of his eyebrows, obviously confused.

 

“What the hell are you talking about? The letter? You actually fell for  _that_. Oh my fucking… You really are as gullible as they say, English.”

 

“ _DIRK!_ ” Roxy’s cheery, happy voice is now loud with authority and anger at said man. Dave  _immediately_ gets up, face disgusted at the way his brother is acting, heading to Dirk only to  _full on_ punch him in the face. 

 

  As Dirk staggers, he growls at Dave, “What the fuck was that for, you little shit.”

 

“I don’t know Bro, maybe it was because of the thing you saidthat so fucking uncalled for, you know? Just sayin’.”

 

   You look at Jake and your chest starts to hurt. The look on Jake’s face is hurt, shocked,  _crushed_ ; as if somebody had him told that one of his family members were dead.  He pushes both you and Jade back as if he was in a daze, stumbling out words that are quiet and laced with hurt, “I can’t… Fine, then. I know when I’m not wanted.”

 

  He takes his crown and throws it on the ground, almost as if it’s poisonous. He turns around and heads to the doors, both you and Jade calling him. Your about to go follow him when Jade grabs your hand and shakes her head. She then let’s go and runs after Jake, Calliope soon following her only after spitting at her brother.

 

  You hear a loud sound; the type of sound that comes from skin hitting skin, as you turn around to see an angry Jane next Dirk, who is now covering his left cheek. Roxy is still at the table, and looks ready to kill Dirk, but Rose is holding her arm, actually more like a death grip, considering that Roxy is gripping the table just as tightly.

 

  “I can’t  _believe_  you, Dirk,” Jane’s voice shaking; oh god, is Jane gonna cry?! But she continues on speaking, pointing at Caliborn; who is still wearing that shit eating grin, “stooping down to _his_  level, how could you?! The Dirk  _I_ know would  _never_ say that, no matter how angry or upset!”

 

  Dirk stares at Jane before replying; slowly and quietly, “Well, it looks like you don’t know me well enough. ”

 

  Jane looks taken back, face laced with just as much hurt as Jake’s. Except that hurt quickly turns into anger, “You really  _are_  immune of feelings, just like the rumors said,  _you machine of a human_.”

 

  She turns from him and storms off. Rose lets go of Roxy, and as soon as she did, Roxy went straight after Jane.  Rose’s attention went to Dirk, who was looking at the ground.

 

“Congratulations, I’m finally at a loss of words. I hope you enjoy your victory. I just cannot  _believe_ you, at all. As your sister, I say this because I love you, you piece of ungrateful fucking shit. If not for Roxy, I would personally  _love_  to stay and show you a piece of my mind, but I can’t, thanks to the consequences of  _some_  people. I hope you feel happy for lying not only to your family but also to Jake. ”

 

  And with that Rose leaves in a hurry, passing by you with a sympathetic look. She leaves, presumably to calm down the rest of your family.

 

  You feel anger swell up in your chest as you turn to Caliborn, who is still laughing. You grab the knife that was in front of you and through it at him. Now, you know your aim is not the best, so you knew you were going to miss his face. But you felt a little bit proud when the knife got stuck on his chair, right next to his face; missing by inches.

 

  Everyone else’s attention is brought to you, and in any other situation you would have been embarrassed. But not now, right now you have to stand up for your family. As you open your mouth, your voice sounds more leveled and serious than you expected.

 

“I know you and Jake don’t get along, but come  _on_. And you call yourself a king, isn’t that fucking hilarious. At least  _learn to grow the fuck_ up and learn how to deal with yourself before you insult my family, you super sayian wannabe.”

 

  You then look at Caliborn, full hatred in your eyes. It’s  _his_  entire fucking fault.

 

“You know, as much as I want to deck you in the face, I won’t because that would end up in me dirtying my hands with your fucking filth, so I’ll spare you. But when ready to fight like a man and not a pussy, come find me.”

 

  You look back at Dirk and excuse yourself. As you turn to leave, you catch Dave’s eye and he gives you the most proud smirk  _ever_. You can’t help but feel a little proud of yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, no promises on when the next chapter will come out but stay tuned folks!


	3. There is Never Enough Fun!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told yall ill be posting more frequently. But to be honest it's mostly thanks to my lil bro for encouraging(forcing) me to work on this. He said he was bored so he read my story and puncehd me about 6 times during chapter 2. told me if i didn't have fluff in this chapter he would kill me. so yeah

  You hate how you are familiar with this blasted castle. You hate as you run through it, memories of your childhood being spent here remind you how carefree you were. You hate how as much as you want to scream, you can’t because you’ll cry even harder.

 

  But that’s not what you hate the most about yourself.

 

  You hate how you let your guard down, thinking that he actually wanted to resolve this. You hate that maybe, just maybe, all of this could have changed.

 

  You hate how you hoped you could have been friends again.

 

  You take a sharp turn and run into somebody’s chest. You running pretty fast, so when you collided, you ended up falling on the ground. When you look to apologize, you see Sollux.

 

“What the fuck wath that for, athhole…. Wait, Englith?” He looks at you with a confused face, his glasses on the floor. You reach and give them to him as you wipe your face.

 

  You laugh nervously as you get up. You extend your hand to help him get up, and you both dust yourselves off.

 

“Wwell this is a surprise. I didn’t expect you showw up out of nowwhere and just wwhen I wwas getting to the good part too.” A voice says with a weird accent and somewhat of a snobby demeanor.

 

  You look at little bit to the left to see Eridan. You feel a smile as you see him, stepping over to hug him. He makes a noise of protest, but when he knows you’re not letting of him just yet, he hugs you back.

 

  Something in his voice changes as he hugs you; his arms growing tighter around you, “You havven’t hugged me like this since wwe wwere kids, you interior fuckwwit.”

 

  You bury your face on his shoulder, and try to laugh. It only comes out as a sob.

 

***

 

  You honestly don’t know where to go. You  _not_  familiar with this place at all, maybe you should have been paying attention when you guys first arrived.

 

  You start walking straight ahead, before releasing the breath you didn’t know you were holding. You must have actually been really nervous to hold your breath. After you finally calm down, you look around.

 

  Well, fuck. You’re lost. As you continue walking, you look at the multiple paintings; some of family, some of kittens, and some of crows. You try not to judge too hard because the amount of paintings you guys have of Bec is insane.

 

  As you stated, there are some portraits of the Strider family. But what makes you puzzled is how  _happy_  everybody looks. It’s not strange for a family to be happy, but what just happened in the dining room would make you think that this family has some problems. Especially considering how barley any of the Striders’ showed emotion.

 

  For one, Dirk and Dave are actually smiling. Not only are Dirk and Dave showing emotion, both the girls are just as happy. You see a grown woman; you looks fairly like Roxy, smiling and holding a man’s hand; presumably the husband. The man doesn’t look stressed nether tired in this picture. You think they were about 10-12 at the time, but it’s not  _that_ that makes you stop in your tracks.

 

  You notice the king robes, and you’re back to being confused. If this man is king, then how come he doesn’t look the least bit stressed. Your dad looks stressed even when he is sleeping, so it confuses you.

 

  Another thing that catches your eyes, is the eye color of the family members. When you met Roxy and Rose, the older had bright blue eyes, while youngest had dark blue ones. In this portrait, Roxy has vibrant pink eyes, with Rose having dark purple eyes. The mother has similar eyes compared to Roxy only darker. But what even confused you even  _more_  was the boys. As you saw Dirk and Dave, they appeared to have brown eyes. The older have bright brown ones, the younger having darker. The boys’ eyes were way different, Dirk having orange tangy eyes, Dave having ruby red eyes. The father has similar eyes to Dirk also darker.

 

  Maybe the artist was old, and accidently changed the color of the family’s eyes. But, for some reason, the eye color in the portrait seems more convincing than the ones you saw in the dining room.

 

  But, still. Something must’ve changed dramatically in this family to have them the way they are now.

 

“I know I was a cute fucker when I was younger, but I don’t want you drooling me like a pedo. Especially, after how cool you tried to act in the dining room.”

 

  The voice startles you as quickly whip your head to behind you. Even though you didn’t mean it, you unconsciously wiped your mouth; even if was dry.

 

  The owner of the voice chuckles, almost as if he  _didn’t_  expect it.

 

“Dave, don’t jump on me like that!” You say, crossing your hands, attempting a pout, “Plus, if either one of us would be a pedophile, it would so be you.”

 

  He raises his eyebrows, obviously intrigued. You see his mouth twitch upward in a form of a smirk, “How come? I don’t know if you can see it, but you were staring at that shit like horny teenager wanting to get off on some cheap-as-shit porn.”

 

  Pure disgust appears on your face because of the analogy as Dave let’s himself smirk. He walks closer to you, and faces the portrait.

 

“Dude, I honestly have no clue how you can say that with a straight face, like seriously , how?”

 

  He shrugs, and you decide to let the conversation drop.  Instead you ask him about the portrait’s artist.

 

“What about em’.”

 

“How come your eye colors are different than right now?  Was the artist old or something?”

 

  He looks over to you, and leans in. His voice is low; deep and mysterious, his face blank as a wall.

 

“What if I told you this family is actually a bunch of demons, trapped inside of a bunch of useless human flesh.”

 

  Your eyes widen as you step back, but trip over your feet, making you fall on your ass. You scramble backwards until there is at least a good 15 feet between you and Dave.

 

  He starts walking towards you, and you instantly get up. You want to run, but your instincts tell you that you have nothing to worry about. It’s as if you already know that Dave won’t do anything.

 

  You snap out of your daze when you feel pain on your forehead. Your hand immediately goes up to it, and you start to rub it, because ow! Did Dave just flick your forehead? Asshole.

 

“Dude, the fear on your face was perfect for the movies.”

 

  You feel your cheeks burn up as you look up to meet him. You punch straight in the gut, “Well, it’s your fucking fault for acting like a creep! Trust me, Dave, you can  _totally_ pass as a rapist.”

 

  You hear him wheeze, and you can’t tell if it’s because of pain or what you said. When he gets up, his face is back to being blank, almost as if you didn’t punch him in the gut.

 

“You know for a short stack, you pack a good punch. Nice.”

 

  You roll your eyes and stick out your tongue. The smirk reappears on his face, and that’s when you notice his eyes.

 

  Like, they’re still brown, but that’s not what’s bothering you. What’s bothering you is how there is absolutely  _no way_  to determine what Dave might be feeling. Like he could’ve been smirking and the amusement would show in his eyes, but for some reason they don’t.

 

 You’d be lying if you said that this doesn’t bother you. It bothers you a lot! His eyes look dead, and brown didn’t even  _suite_ Dave! Now that you think about it, red suites him much better…

 

“Those aren’t your real eye color, are they?” The words escape out of your mouth before you can process it.

 

  Both of Dave’s eyebrows go up, his smirk gone. He shrugs and starts walking ahead, shit. Fuck, you shouldn’t have said that-

 

  Dave stops and looks back to look at you, a questioning glance as he states, “You gonna come or what, dude? Can’t keep me waitin’ all day.”

 

  You look at him, confused. Why does he want you to follow him? You catch up to him and ask where you’re going. All he does is smirk and tell you it’s a surprise.

***

 

     Both you and Callie had lost Jake as soon as he left through the doors. You had absolutely no  _clue_  where you were.  Even though Callie was more familiar with this place, she didn’t know it that well.

 

  As you and Callie were walking, chatting about how worried you were for Jake and where he might be, you saw Jane. You immediately called her name and she stopped to look around.

 

  You both run up to her, when both Roxy and Rose catch up to Jane. You all look around, and start to laugh and it relaxes everyone. After that, you asked what they were doing.

 

  What they said next was absolutely crazy! Jane wanted to find Jake, Roxy wanted to find  _Jane_ , and  _Rose_  wanted to find  _Roxy_. This causes the group of you to giggle once again. When Jane asked you if seen Jake, you shake your head.  Roxy, who was being very quiet, finally spoke.

 

“Oh! Oh, I  _definitely_ know where Jakey is! Do you remember that  _secret_ place Callie found when we were kids?”

 

  Jane looks at Roxy with confusion on her face, while Calliope perks up on your side, “Oh, you don’t mean that coven that we used to decorate with all those  _beautiful_  flowers?”

 

“But we haven’t that visited that place in years! What makes you think he still knows about that place?”

 

  Roxy gives Jane an unimpressed which makes both you and Callie giggle, while Jane gets flustered.

 

“Look, Janey, its  _Jakey._  Do you honestly think that  _Jakey_ , of alllll the people in the word, would forget a place like that??”

 

  You see Jane smile softly before chuckling, “I suppose you do have a point, after all it  _is_ Jake.”

 

  Rose speaks up, stating something that makes you all think, “Who will go to see Jake? It can’t be all of us; he would be too overwhelmed with us surrounding him and asking him questions at once, even if it was to make him feel better.”

 

  It silences all of you very quickly. You want to go, he is your brother! But… You don’t know where the place is.

 

“I think,” Callie states slowly, “Jane, Roxy, and I should go. Only because we know where the place is.”

 

  You look at Calliope, disbelief written on your features. But before you speak, you feel a hand on your shoulder. You look back to see Rose, shaking her head; signaling you not to argue.

 

  “Actually, I think Jade should go with you guys,” Roxy states, making the whole group look at her, “considerin’ she  _is_  his little sis. I don’t know about y’all, but I would love Rosey a thousand times more if she came to see me when I’m down in the dumps. Just sayin’.”

 

   You smile at Roxy and thank her about a million times.  Your group starts leaving when you hear Roxy ask Rose what they are going to do.

 

 Rose smiles, voice mysterious, “Don’t you want to see what the boys are doing? Alone, and  _very_  vulnerable.”

 

“The thought of what they might be doing makes me squeal, Rosey! The possibilities are totes endless.. If I were to be completely honest, you know about Mama Lalonde and her gay radar, probs each other.”

 

***

 

  You shiver slightly as you get closer and closer to the end of the castle. It’s either cause your cold or because somebody is talking about you. Probably the latter. Or both.

 

“Dude, I didn’t know you were this vulnerable to the cold, like shit. You’re shivering worse than a fucking vibrator.”

 

  You, again, get disgusted by his analogy. You shove him and tell him to shut up, which causes him to smirk.

 

“Well, I wouldn’t be so cold if you weren’t leading us to a fucking dungeon! Like seriously, where  _are_  you taking me?”

 

  He looks at you with an amused look, and whispers, “Kinky.”

 

  You feel your cheeks heat up, _again,_ and wow, you really like punching Dave. He chuckles when you punch his shoulder, moving his arm to rub it.

 

“My room, asshole.”

 

  You look at him, confused. His room? What are you going to do in his room?

 

  He walks in front of you before turning around, walking backwards. He looks so stupid that you  _can’t_  roll your eyes. 

 

“You said you were cold , I thought we can do some fun  _activities._  Sleeping isn’t the only think a bed is for, if you catch my drift.” Oh  _god_ , is he-  _is he wiggling his eyebrows????_  “We can get down with the dirty, Egbert.”

  This causes you burst out laughing, cheeks getting even hotter. You notice he is sporting a light blush, and wow, what? He starts running away, laughter bubbling out from him as well,  so you go to chase him.

 

  Neither of you slow down as you approach another corridor, the end a big door with 4 doors on each of the two sides, each of them a different color; one pink, one orange, one red, and one that is a slightly brighter purple than the rest of the castle. The other 4 are the same colors as the rest of the castle.

 

  As soon as Dave opens his door, you catch up to him and just fucking  _tackle him_. You both roll around, laughing and struggling for dominance. Dave soon pins you, looking at you with a smug look in his face. He is still blushing slightly, as are you.

 

“Having fun down there, Egbert?”

 

  You smirk; you have had plenty of experience with this because of your family. You shift your arms so that your hands are pressed to the ground while your arms are slightly up in the air.  You bring one knee up, which causes Dave’s expression to change, and push it up to his stomach.

 

  His eyes widen as you flip yourself on top of him, pinning  _his_  hands to the floor. You laugh softly, feeling proud of yourself. It took you forever to learn that trick.

 

“I don’t know Dave, how about you tell me?”

 

“I have a pretty good view from down here, thanks for asking.”

 

  You both chuckle as you get off of Dave, helping him up. You stretch when you get up; you haven’t done stuff like that since you were at least 13. It’s nice to have some fun every once in a while.

 

  You turn around to see where Dave is, but he’s not there. The door to his room is closed (how??), but the door to his bathroom is open. Speaking of which, you can hear the faucet running.

 

  You look around his room, and wow, his room is a complete  _mess_. You see a bed, two desk’s; one with turntables and the other with a computer, and a shit ton of wires. How did you  _not_  trip over those?

 

  You feel a breeze and look to your left. What is there shocks you; even  _you_  don’t have one!

 

“Dave! You guys have balconies  in your rooms?! What the hell?”

 

“It isn’t that surprising, Egbert. It just means I’m more royal than you.”

 

“No, you douchewaffle, my dad is just worried about burglars or murders sneaking in and I don’t know,  _hurting me_.”

 

“More like your dad didn’t give you a balcony because he would feel bad for those assholes. Like shit, if I knew you, and I was a criminal, I would ollie the  _fuck_  out of there before you can say ‘chimichanga.’”

 

  This causes you to roll your eyes. You take his camera off the desk and start to examine it; just a bunch of shifty selfies of himself. Sheesh, what an idiot. You set it down gently before asking Dave a question.

 

“So, Dave. What was this surprise? If you end up jump-scaring me though, I swear to  _god_ , I will break your face.”

 

  You hear his laughter and decide that, yeah, you really like his laugh. Like, a  _lot_. You go over to his bed and sit down with a flop. It’s _way_ fluffier. You swear, it’s like Derse got all the cool things.

 

  He comes out of the bathroom with a small hand towel that he’s using to wipe his face. He’s still chuckling, as if you said something  _sooooo_  hilarious.

 

“Dave, I asked a fucking question, what’s so funny about it?”

 

  All he does is shake his head, little water droplets going everywhere. His hair is also a little wet, not sticking up anymore. He takes the towel and puts on the edge of his bed.

 

“Bro, that would have been the most amusing shit  _ever_. I cannot  _believe_  I didn’t think of that, only a true genius can come up with that.”

 

  You look at him, narrowing your eyes, “What the fuck are you implying, Dave. I am sooooo smarter than you. And that fact that you don’t know that just  _proves_  it!”

 

  He rolls his eyes, smirk on his face. And that’s when you see it; ruby red eyes looking at you with a sparkle of amusement in them. You immediately get up and go to Dave, taking his face and bringing it down so you can see his eyes better.

 

  His face becomes neutral, but his eyes are different. The amusement is still there, but it’s mostly masked in confusion and embarrassment. You feel the smile on your face grow wider. It’s like Dave’s eyes are showing who the real Dave is. Plus, you feel like Dave trusts you, and vice versa, it’s weird isn’t it.

 

“Usually, people don’t smile like a pedo when they see my eyes, Egbert. They do the complete opposite, remember the ollie-the-fuck-out part? Yeah, they do that.”

 

  Normally, you would roll your eyes, but that would mean you can’t look at Dave’s. But really, going back to who’s the pedo? He’s such a…

 

“Gosh, Dave…” Your voice is barely above a whisper, almost as if it helps the mood. You notice that you are  _really_  close to Dave, but not close enough. You tug his head down gently, and he takes the hint.

 

“What?” The confusion becomes covered with something you can’t describe as he comes closer to you, so that your lips are only an inch apart, and you giggle, both of your blush’s spreading. He puts his hands on your hips, while you loop your arms around his neck.

 

   You lean in until your lips are barely touching and whisper, “You really  _are_  a dork.” 

 

  All of the emotions in his eyes disappear as confusion settles in. You laugh as you pull away from him, but he just stays there as if in total shock. Judging by the look on his face, he is.

 

  He looks at you, confusion and anger written all over his face. He narrows his eyes as you back away even further, laughing harder.

 

“You complete, inferior  _ass_.”

 

  This causes you to start wheezing and coughing, which distracts you from Dave sneaking up behind you. His hands go up your shirt, and you squeak.

 

  His hands move up and down, no, stop,  _Dave-_!

 

  You immediately start to laugh, your face heating up. No, stop,  _you hate getting tickled-_! You turn away to push him away, but instead he pushes you on his bed, chuckles escaping him.

 

  No, fuck-  _stop!_  You’re snorting and you sound like an idiot- _damn it, Dave, sTOP!_  But he doesn’t, he just tickles you even harder and you’re fucking  _screaming_.

 

  He’s full out laughing at your pain and you hate it, but you also  _love it-_

 

  The knock on the door doesn’t Dave from tickling you, but the voice that calls out his name makes him look up.

 

“And here I thought you were doing something more obscured. Well, you do know what they say about expectations, David. If you expect nothing from a person, than you shall not be disappointed.”

 

“What?! They aren’t doing anythin’?! But what was all that screamin’ for, hmm-  _OH._  Looks like we came in the wrong time, Rosey. Les’ skedaddle. ”

 

  Both Rose and Roxy walk in, amusement and mischief in their eyes. You look at Dave and  _oh GOD._  You push him off of you and start to straighten your clothes.

 

“Fuck both of you, okay. Egbert and I were having a shit ton of awesome bro-nding-”

 

  You can’t help but snort at that comment. Dave also can’t stop smirking.

 

“-and for you to just walk in like that, it’s almost as if you’re trying to take my Egbert away. Break my little, insecure princess heart. To that my answer is a big ole’ fuck you.”

 

  Roxy laughs as Rose rolls her eyes. The blush on your face still won’t go away because of the ‘my Egbert’ comment; you oughta slap Dave for saying that.

 

“But, it was a little misleading, especially with considering how much noise dear Jonathon over here was making.”

 

“Don’t get it wrong, Johnny boy. Those were some top notch noises though. Like 5 stars, would  _totes_ recommend doing.”

 

  You groan as you fall flat on Dave’s bed, hands covering your face. Can this seriously get a _ny_  worse. What’s with everyone and making innuendo jokes, you swear!

 

“Oh? John, what did you to get Dave out of his little shell? He doesn’t take off the magic unless by force.”

 

  You get up and look at Rose with a confused look. You look at Dave, who is now being held by a squealing Roxy, and shrug.

 

  Dave makes Roxy get off him, embarrassment and anger in his eyes, takes the towel, goes to the bathroom only to come back and throw it at Rose’s face. It lands on her face with an audible ‘SPLAT.’ As soon as he does that, he vanishes into thin air.

 

  Rose removes the towel off her face; it was wet, only to reveal dark violet eyes. You almost fall over when you see Rose. Roxy starts laughing as Rose looks around the room, probably wondering where Dave was.

 

“Oh,  _Rosey!_  You should have seen the look on Johnny’s face!  _It was sooooo cute!_ ”

 

  Rose smiles at you and motions Roxy to come to her. Roxy does and Rose starts to rub her eyes.

 

“I can tell you’re wondering how you can see my eye color, and the simplest way I can explain is magic.”

 

“Majick.”

 

“Sorry, majick.”

 

“Majick?”

 

“Yea, Johnny boy! Majick. Rosey can do just about any majick. So, she put a spell on our eyes that are kind of like contacts and they can be removed with water. It is soo sick.”

 

“Oh.”

 

  Rose finishes wiping Roxy eyes and yup, those are some bright pink eyes. They look at each other before Rose throws the towel at your face, the same way Dave did to her.

 

  You take the towel off of your face and glare at her.

 

“Rose! What was that for? If you think that I am also wearing mag- majick contacts, you are sadly mistaken.”

 

“They do look fake though! How do you do it, Johnny?  With your eyes that are totes oceans, I swear, it’s as if God gave you oceans for eyes. It’s so not fair!”

 

  Both of them giggle as you try to glare harder, asking Rose why she threw the towel at you so hard, especially since it’s still wet!

 

“Sorry, Jonathon. I just know you like it rough.”

 

  Did-did she just  _wink_  at you???

 

  You feel the blush on your face resurface as you groan. You swear, it’s as if this family loves to poke fun at you. Thank  _god_ , Dave isn’t around.

 

  You hear a loud, “Wait, what,” followed by a loud crashing sound from outside. You all look to the balcony as you see Dave climb over the small ledge, leaves covering him, his hair a mess. He is looking at you with a disbelieved face.

 

“Nothing,  _ohmygod_  Dave-, no you asshole. Shut up- just never,  _ever_  speak again,  _please_. I never even- _OHMYG-_  Dave! Stop, looking at me liKE  _THAT_!”

 

  Roxy start laughing, while Rose just covers her mouth politely.  Ugh, you  _hate everyone_. You stomp over to Dave’s door and just leave, because fuck all of them.

 

“Dude, Egbert, what the fuck, man.”

 

“No, fuck you guys, you keep making fun of me and I don’t like it. Only I can do that, okay,  _I’m_  the funny prankster that likes to prank and make fun of people,  _not_  you guys!”

 

  You hear Dave snort as they follow you out of Dave’s room.

 

“Fine, we’ll-”

 

“You, Dave. Neither Roxy or myself will refrain from making fun of John, no matter you say.”

 

“Yeah, it’s  _wayyy_  too much fun to stop.”

 

“Okay,  _I_  will lay off with the jokes if you prove to me you pranked at least  _one_  of us.”

 

  You feel yourself smirk as you turn around and face Dave. His face is an amused one, but both Roxy and Rose show their amusement even more. You laugh as you bring your finger up to your lips, Dave’s face changing from his normal skin color to a bright pink.

 

  He points his finger at you, before you cut him off.

 

“You said at least one, and I  _think_ that counts.”

 

“No, that was a dick move, dude, and we both know it.”

 

“Doesn’t matter, Dave! You said once, so now you can’t make fun of me anymore.”

 

  Dave’s faces changes into something you can’t describe. Rose and Roxy come up to you with curiosity on their faces.

 

“Sooo, Johnny. What was this awesome prank that involved your lips, hmmm???”

 

  You look over to Dave and his face is of one who is smug, that fucking  _bastard_. Your cheeks are flaming, and shit, you can’t get out of this.

 

“John, judging the way you are not answering us, you are making it  _very_  hard not to be suspicious. So, I’ll just be frank, did you and Dave kiss?”

 

  You bite your lip, release it,  _then_  chew the inside of your cheek. You know, it sounds disgusting, but you can’t help it! It’s a nervous habit..

                                               

“…No-”

 

“Yes.”

 

“DAVE!”

 

“Well, you technically did, dude, you were literally  _this_ close to my lips, so I don’t know, bro. Did you kiss me?”

 

  Roxy squeals while Rose smirks, mimicking Dave’s smug look. You groan and cover your face.

 

“Dave, for the love of god-, you  _said_  you won’t make fun of me anymore.”

 

“What the fuck, dude, don’t accuse me of going back on the bro code, that shit is whack. I’m just asking a fucking question, is that against the law?”

 

“He does have a point, John. Well, asking a question might be illegal in Prospit, since you technically  _are_  questioning their authority but I digress. Is it against the law to ask questions?”

 

“Is no one pondering over the fact that Johnny over there  _kissed Dave_ _????_  Seriously though kiddos, you two  _just_  met and you can’t keep your hands off each other. Rosey, just watch, next time their alone, they gonna do the dirty. Am I right, Johnny? Are you guys gonna do the dirty soon?”

 

  Your face has probably turned into a fucking  _tomato_  because of them. You swear, you have never,  _ever_ , wanted to go die in a hole more in your life. If you had a knife, you would just end your life right here and now.

 

  Roxy and Dave start chatting while you have your inner turmoil, but you hear words from their conversation. Rose is not saying anything though.

 

“Just imagine what he’s like in bed…. Rox, stop trying to give me a boner.…. What if he’s the ambitious type??.... Rox.... Would you let him top?... Fuck yes.”

 

  You scream before shoving Dave to the floor, your anger getting ahead of you. Dave looks at you before laughing, Roxy following him.

 

  You turn to look at Rose; she is the most rational out of them, to ask her to shut them up. But her face is full of confliction before she looks up at you, and you can see the tears in her eyes. You immediately go over to her and ask her what’s wrong.

 

“Jade, oh  _god,_   _Calliope_ …”

 

  She grabs your arms, her eyes wide and full of fear. Both Roxy and Dave must have noticed Rose’s break down, as both have calmed down.

 

  Before anyone does anything, an explosion erupts; not a small one, a huge one, one that caused your ears to start ringing as Rose let go of you. You stumbled as the castle shakes, pieces of the castle starting to fall.

 

  Rose seems to have recovered, yelling at all of you to get to safety, but you are having a hard time hearing anything. Your head hurts from the thumping, and your ears won’t stop ringing. Smoke and gravel is around all of you, and you start choking, gasping for air. Tears form in your eyes and it’s getting so hard to  _breathe-_

  You’re so scared, everything is black, smoke is everywhere, are you going to die-  _no, you don’t want tO DIE-_

 

  You feel someone grab your arm, and you whip your head to see who it is; it’s Dave. You put your face into his chest as Roxy grabs Dave’s shoulder, Rose holding her hand. A weird feeling pass you as you are able to breath freely again. You immediately start coughing, thanking god you can breathe again.

 

  When you hear Dave calling your name, you’re in a different room. Worry is covering his features as Rose helps you up. You smile at him to reassure him you’re alright, and he visibly relaxes.

 

  Rose and Roxy on the other hand, are far from relaxed; they’re both tense and worried. You see Roxy take a knife out from under her dress and you tense. You feel Dave’s hand on your shoulders and you look up to him, he tells you to relax.

 

  Roxy takes the knife, closing her eyes; obviously concentrating, before slicing the air in front of her. Your eyes widen at what happens to the air she cut, it’s like a portal; the inside showing you a view of outside the castle, where your group arrived.

 

“Dave, take John somewhere safe and under any circumstances  _do not_  leave him alone. Even if it’s for his own good or for yours,  _do not leave him alone_.”

 

  Dave tenses before nodding, jaw firm. Rose looks at you before kissing your cheek, and putting something in your hand.

 

  You open it to reveal a ring, with a symbol encrypted in it. It’s a blue line curving up, down, and back up again. A similar line is underneath the other, but this one curves up only a little before lying down.

 

“If you ever need help, just wear this. It well help when you’re in trouble if Dave is not there, understand? If it ever flashes a light blue, then know that is your Awakening.”

 

“What do you mean by my Awakening? Wait, that doesn’t matter! Why can’t I be left alone, what’s going on, Rose,  _where are you going_?!”

 

  All she does is smile before putting your foreheads together. She mummers something and you feel yourself fall against Dave’s chest. It’s nice; warm and comforting. Your eyes are getting heavier every time you blink.

 

  Rose turns to Roxy before looking at you with a sadden look in her eyes. Roxy jumps in the portal, Rose following her.

 

  It’s the last thing you see before you black out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahhahahahaha ihavenoregrets rip @ me


End file.
